The Idea of the Ideal Man

Akhil Sreekumar
5 min readAug 18, 2019

What makes a man, apart from his physicality? What differentiates a man from a male? How can you distinguish a single person from a crowd? How does he stand out? How can you as a person, transcend the norms of your society, and the chained limits of your conscious mind, to become something special in our modern society? How is the alpha constructed?

Over the years, the concept of the qualities of the ideal man has been speculated and thought about by various schools of thought presiding in various regions. In every one of their treatises, we can see generically defined stereotypical qualities like courage, honesty, integrity, etc. While all these qualities are necessary and essential, men are not taught how to inculcate these qualities into their lives. The majority of people have a belief that the ideal man is born, not made. They believe that a man is born with these qualities, that the three Fates have already spun his loom with golden colors, and that the ordinary man remains ordinary because it is in his gloomy fate to be so. Also, when faced with a precarious situation, when a man is forced to question his paradigms, the average man would always tend to follow the path of least resistance, because nature intends him to follow it. He does not utilize the human brain, which after thousands of years of evolution, has given him the power to choose a course of action that can differentiate him from the rest of the herd.

Searching through the annals of ancient history and culture, we come across groups of people renowned as legends for being real men. Take the case of the Japanese Samurai. With their code of Bushido, or ‘The seven virtues of Gi — Rectitude, Yu — Courage, Jin — Benevolence, Rei — Respect, Meiyo — Honour, Makoto — Honesty, Chungi — Loyalty’, were considered not just as supreme warriors, but as the ideal concept of manhood, and something every common citizen aspired to be like. Take the case of British knights and their code of Chivalry, which is something that is renowned even today. Every society, from the Stoics, to the African Bushmen, have their own definition of what a man should be like. Being an Indian and a Hindu, I was initially exposed to the tales of heroes like Hanuman, Ganesha, Karthik, Krishna, and finally, Lord Ram. I have tried to read the great Indian epics, the Mahabharata, the Bhagavad Gita, and the Ramayana. These stories gave me a glimpse of what a man should be, according to the Indian perspective. What I state here is simply my observation from what I have read, reasoned and observed, and should be taken as such. Be aware that all of this applies to both genders, as virtues are independent of gender.

Every person born on Earth has a certain duty assigned to him to perform. This duty is termed as Karma. Since his surroundings are his field of action, it is also termed as his Karmabhoomi. People who have realized what their Karma is, are said to be enlightened. The way to achieve realization is through work. There are three main obstacles to this process. They are lust, anger, and greed. Therefore, In short, my definition of the ideal man is a person who strives to attain his karma, while mindfully keeping away from the three sins stated. Their duty is but to act, never to be concerned with the results: thus, the fruit of their actions will not be their motive.

Let me put it this way. Imagine the last time, you were tasked to do an assignment. And imagine that you were very attached to that project. But when it received unfavorable criticism, it hurts you deep inside, because you were so ingrained with it, and you can't even think of redoing it or improving it. Now imagine you do the same assignment, without thinking about the result, and let's just say, that you do it because it is your duty as a student or a manager, and not because you get a prize at the end. Even if you receive a negative response, you will only take it as constructive criticism, since what you were doing was your duty, and since you are aiming to do that duty as perfectly as possible because you have taken RESPONSIBILITY for it.

Now, you may be wondering if this has anything to do with being a man. When you adopt the values of being honest, being brave, being compassionate, having integrity, and showing respect, as your duties, and not something that you expect a reward from, it becomes a simple process for your mind to accept the fact that what you are doing is your duty, and that it should be repeated whenever you get a chance. Hence it becomes an automatic process, instead of a task to be completed for a reward. So in essence, this process enables you to take full responsibility of your life, and thus everything that happens to you will be in direct proportion to your actions, which is the basic and fundamental law of Karma.

Therefore, to be the ideal man, one has to learn to accept full responsibility for one’s thoughts, actions, and words. He will have to learn to do his duty, without attaching himself to the fruit of his actions. He will have to fend off lust, anger, and greed whenever they make a ploy to invade his mind. He must focus on an idea, and strive tirelessly towards it. He must learn to prioritize what is important to him, and must constantly strive to attain his purpose. These are the characteristics of the ideal man in my opinion.

It’s very easy to preach about this. You can see a lot of websites, articles, and podcasts, which tell you to ‘find the ideal man in you in 10 easy steps’, and stuff like that. But the truth of the matter is, each person must find his own definition of what he thinks, is the epitome of what he can be. As I said, pure hard work is the only medicine. There is NO other shortcut. Take some time, and think about who you are, and what you can be, and start working. All it takes is a simple shift in your paradigms.

Till Next Time……

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